I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
