So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.