That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
