did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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