shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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