very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
