I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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