Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
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