im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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