I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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