Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize