Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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