its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
