and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
