Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
