I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize