Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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