Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
