Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize