Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
