Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
