coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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