i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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