Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
