PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
