So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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