I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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