I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
