Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize