Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
