You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Holy shit dude........stairs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize