I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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