For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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