I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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