Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
my liver is dry heaving
I came so hard my ears popped.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
