Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
