dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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