Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
