normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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