Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
