How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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