Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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