oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
