i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
