Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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