It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
