i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
