four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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