I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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