I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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