Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
