Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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