So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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