Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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