my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
