she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
