Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
