I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
