better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
