Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize