I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
