She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
