Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you inspire me to be a worse person
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
