So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
