I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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