I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
