Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
